In this issue:

OVERWORLD:
-Sell water like it’s crack-
-Mini-Stories: Barcelona and Nike, break-up of the century
+ Vinyls might be ruining the economy 
+ Hitler now speaks English-

THE DEPTHS:
-He’s the reason why your house is ugly-

“People shave their heads all the time.”
— Britney Spears

✦Trend Picks✦

Business

How to sell water like it’s crack - Liquid Death and its $1.4B valuation.

Sober is the new drunk, that makes water the new beer, which means that drinking Liquid Death makes you fucking lit.

If you didn’t know, Liquid Death is… just water - but in a sick ass tallboy.

✦Play stupid games, win smart prizes✦

Think it’s stupid? You’re right, and that’s why it works. Yesterday, this idiotic company was valued at $1,4B after securing $67M in funding from a diverse group of investors that include: Josh Brolin, DeAndre Hopkins, and Live Nation.

Since 2022, Liquid Death's valuation has skyrocketed from $700M. This is much thanks to riding the wave of a 30% surge in nonalcoholic beverage sales in the US last year, with expectations of continued growth.

✦How to brand in 2024✦

Mastering the line between mundane and insane, Liquid Death teaches a valuable lesson in how branding works in the 2020s.

Somehow, we live in a world where people want to drink a can of water decorated with a graphic of somebody’s face melting off the back of their skull and the slogan “Murder your thirst.”

It’s really one big $1,4B joke.

✦The birth of death✦

The idea came to founder Mike Cessario, a Delaware graphic designer, who saw concertgoers drinking water from Monster Energy drinks to stay hydrated during the 2009 Vans Warped Tour.

“Why does nobody market water like it’s Monster?”, he thought.

And that was the basis of his idea: let’s sell good ole’ water, nothing special or premium about it, but ball out on marketing.

✦Other psychotic efforts✦

And it’s with a foundation like that where you can communicate in a way that an Evian or a Fiji never could. Psychotic marketing ploys include:

✦Mini Stories✦

-Break-up of the century.-
-Your vinyl records might be ruining the economy.-
- Hitler speaks now speaks English.Thanks AI.-

 ⚽️ FC Barcelona is breaking up with Nike - sad but epic.
For 25 years the Nike Barcelona jerseys have carried world-legend names like Messi, Ronaldinho, Puyol, and Iniesta.

Now, it seems Nike and Barca may part ways. It’s the end of an era for Nike, but for Barca, this is potentially the birth of a new cash cow.

The Nike/Barca deal, worth around €105M per season was set to run through 2028. Now it’s under scrutiny for allegedly not meeting the club's expectations and market potential.

The crazy part is that Barcelona might take its retail operations in-house. And why not? Barca is a decades-old and world-renowned brand - with or without Nike. If Barca does this, it’d mean a new era of cash-making.

Some numbers: The jersey business is huge. Uniforms cost about $11 to produce and sell for 10 times that on Barcelona’s e-commerce site. So, rather than getting royalty crumbs from Nike, Barca would reap the lion’s share of profits on each jersey.

Some perspective: Last August, Adidas paid Manchester United £900M over the next 10 years. Last week, Red Bull Racing signed a contract with Castore which will see the reigning F1 champions receive over $200M, the highest-value team apparel licensing deal in motorsport history.

The point is… These relationships make bank. If Barca successfully cuts out the middlemen, it’d mean a sports apparel revolution.

🎵 Vinyl record sales blamed for UK inflation.
Yes, your vinyl press of Taylor Swift's 1999 is somewhere fucking up the economy.

There’s no doubt about it: we’re in the age of the vinyl record boom. Worldwide, the global vinyl records market was valued at approximately $1.8 billion. But with great power comes great responsibility.

The UK Office for National Statistics said that vinyl records’ new popularity means they’ll be included among the 744 items used to calculate inflation each month, in its latest annual shake-up of the basket.

The “inflation basket” is a great representative of consumer interests, as some products will be leaving as others will be entering. For example:

😡 Hitler now speaks English with AI - people are mad.
Last week, videos of Hitler speaking fluent British English were popping off on X and caused a stirring debate.

These videos were shared by Dom Lucre, who WIRED calls a “hugely influential far-right conspiracy influencer.”

In the tweet, Lucre writes that he’s simply “sharing what is news as I always do” and warned of the “extremely antisemitic” content. These claims Dom Lucre spreading far-right propaganda most likely come from the community that he is nesting in the comments.

Comments include: “I’m beginning to think we may have lost WWII” and “It sounds like these people cared about their country above all else”

Dom Lucre himself did not make the video. It was most likely taken from a 2-month-old YouTube video from Time Unveiled - a channel that has also posted AI translations of Bin Laden, Stalin, and Tojo.

These types of videos are made with tools developed by voice-cloning startup ElevenLabs to generate the audio.

ElevenLabs positions their AI tools for uses like audiobooks and video games, and very recently they hit a $1.1B valuation. Good for them and all, but the easy accessibility to their powerful tools is causing some odd-flavored destruction.

This January, ElevenLabs came under fire for Deepfaked voice impersonations of President Biden calling up US citizens and telling them not to vote.

ElevenLabs is responsible for most (if not all) AI voices you hear online, including that one dude all over TikTok/Shorts/Reels that speaks like a stick has been shoved up his ass. You know the one.

Scary to think that the most primitive versions of these technologies are already causing divide and confusion.

✦Quick hits✦

• Airbnb banned indoor security cameras - with no exceptions. Previously, Airbnb had no issue with hosts installing cams in “common areas” (anywhere you don’t bang or shit). This is an effort to “prioritize the privacy” of renters, as guests have been reporting hidden cameras in their rentals. This doesn’t mean you can run up parties though, as decibel monitors are still allowed.

• Gold prices are hitting record highs - and it’s caught Wall Street off-guard. Gold futures for March set a record of $2182 a troy ounce this Monday, which brings gold’s gains to 5.8% this year. WSJ attributes this to the usual suspect: interest rates. WSJ writes, “Lower rates make gold, which pays no income, more attractive relative to assets such as stocks and bonds that pay dividends and interest.”

• Reddit wants a $6,4B valuation ahead of its IPO. Reddit also said that it’s seeking to raise up to $748M in its initial public offering to prepare for its planned debut. Their game plan is to set up 22M shares for the price of $31-ish.

• Logan Paul’s Prime will be the first logo to ever appear on a WWE wrestling ring. The Prime pact is the largest deal ever struck by WWE and makes it the wrestling empire’s “official hydration drink partner” in a 2-year sponsorship.

• Binance’s top crypto crime investigator is detained in Nigeria. Tigran Gambarayan, responsible for landmark investigations that cuff crypto thieves and money launderers, has been held for 2 weeks without passports.

• Kanye West says “Streaming is basically pirating.” Now he plans to sell Vultures 2 for $20 on his website, yeezy.com. In a DM interview between Kanye and X/Twitter fan-page @YEFANATICS, he said: "I got 20 million Instagram followers. When five percent of my followers buy an album. That's one million albums sold That's 300K more than the biggest album last year.”

• Scientists are getting closer to reviving the woolly mammoth. De-extinction startup Colossal Biosciences says it has discovered a way to reprogram elephant cell, which is insane.

• Sleep Tourism is the new thing. Yes, people are paying up to $1780 to sleep in luxury cocoons with no TVs, phones, or even wall art.

• Y/Project, the legendary Paris-based label, just dropped their FW24 lookbook, including celebrity models Kanye West, Mia Khalifa and Tyga.

• Watch: The World’s most powerful stove boils water in seconds.

THE DEPTHS

Architecture

You’ve probably lived in a building like this - it’s all thanks to one man.

Experts have for decades argued about Swiss-French 20th century architect, Le Corbusier.

Some say that his architecture held classic fascist ideals, while some say he revolutionized living conditions.

The argument boils down to whether or not Le Corbusier’s philosophies were indifferent to historical sites and equality. Sadly, you won’t find an answer here. It’s too complex. But there are some things that are for certain.

Yes, let’s concern ourselves with definitives: What there’s no question about, is that he’s the 20th century’s most influential architect. He’s the prime reason as to why modern urban planning looks how it does - whether one thinks it’s ugly or beautiful.

In 1927, he defined 5 principles of architecture - a rule set that created a new and industrialized way of architecture. Nowadays, these ideas are nothing special, that’s because Corbusier made them a norm

Here are the 5 principles (you’ve probably lived in a building like this):

✦ 1. The Pilotis: Put the building on stilts or tall supports. This lifts the building off the ground, so cars can park underneath or people can hang out in the shade. It's like putting your house on giant legs so there's more room to play below.

✦ 2. Flat Roof Terrace: Instead of having a regular sloped roof, make the roof flat so it can be used as an extra garden or patio.

✦ 3. Free Design of the Facade: Normally, the outside walls of a building are there to hold it up, but with a pilotis, you can design the outside however you want. This provides a blank canvas without worrying about where the windows and doors have to go because the building's skeleton does all the hard work.

✦ 4. Horizontal Windows: Instead of small, regular windows, you put in long, horizontal ones that stretch across the walls. This lets in a lot of light and gives everyone inside a great view.

✦ 5. Free Design of the Floor Plan: Without the need for walls to hold up the building, rooms can be arranged in any way. This lends planners building blocks to create rooms, moving them around freely to make the inside of the building fit exactly what they need.

Now, obviously, Le Corbusier was a genius. Most of the buildings he made in this style are classic masterpieces - such as the Unite d’Habitation pictured above or the Palace of Assembly in Chandigarh India, pictured below.

But style, when it’s revolutionizing and ingenious, will always have imitators who completely butcher it. Corbusier is influential because the style spread like the plague. And let’s be real, most people aren’t living in UNESCO heritage sites á la Corbusier. Where this style is mostly prevalent around the world, is through cheap atrocities like these: