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Uh oh, space terrorists
+ The Illuminati loves padel
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OVERWORLD:
-The Illuminati loves padel-
ONE BETWEEN:
-Want to be famous? AI can fix that too, apparently-
THE DEPTHS:
-Early Michelin Man looks like a space terrorist-
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Luxury and sports
The Illuminati loves padel - luxury brands act accordingly.
You probably didn't know this, but padel has 25 million active players across 110 countries.
... And a lot of them are rich as shit.
Wayne Boich (baller Miami billionaire, look him up), for example, founded Reserve, a Miami padel hotspot - and you're not invited.
David Beckham, Lionel Messi, and Dwyane Wade, on the other hand, are very much invited and frequently hang out at Reserve.
Dwayne Wade playing at Reserve Miami’s waterside padel center.
Because of padel's bougie demographic, luxury brands have a great opportunity to sling padel gear and build trust.
Good timing: Watchmaker Richard Mille currently sponsors Reserve's annual pro tournament.
V-takeover: Valentino took over the Matcha Club in Dubai, complete with Valentino-branded courts and padel balls. After playing, guests could conveniently shop the label’s Spring/Summer 2024 collection.
Miuccia and Donatella's cut: Last year, Prada released an all-back $2,250 padel racquet, while Versace sells a $1,500 set that includes a logo-printed racquet, case and padel balls.
In case you find $2,250 between the couch cushions.
✦Hold on, what the fuck is “padel?”✦
Alright, gather around children. Story time.
In the sun-drenched town of Acapulco, Mexico, in the summer of 1969, wealthy businessman Enrique Corcuera had a rich-person problem.
Enrique loved tennis, but his sprawling, lush garden didn't accommodate a full-sized tennis court. Poor Enrique.
But Enrique became a rich baller for a reason. If Enrique wants to play, Enrique plays.
His garden had walls, which gave Enrique an idea - what if he played against the wall?
Then, he modified his tennis rackets into smaller and more manageable versions. Finally, he replaced the tennis ball with something slightly softer.
Enrique got some neighbors in there, and boom: Padel was born.
Enrique, in the flesh.
✦Sporting cash✦
Today, Padel is definetly bigger than little aristocratic sects in Mexican backyards.
Qatar Sports Investments, who owns Paris Saint Germain, acquired the World Padel Tour in August. Plus, analysts are betting on it becoming an Olympic sport by 2032.
And that’s another reason why padel's come-up is a breeding ground for brands to build early cultural associations.
Actually, luxury brands are seemingly more down with sports than ever.
LVMH, for example, is balling out on the Paris 2024 Olympics; LVMH brands such as Louis Vuitton, Dior, and Berluti, will all be making some uniforms.
Even Olympic medals will be the work of LVMH’s high jewelry label, Chaumet. And for the first time ever, the Olympics will have LVMH-sponsored athletes.
So, yeah. In 2024, Sporty Spice and Posh Spice are basically the same person.
THE KING NEEDS YOU
Human, you are a mere . Do you not seek grander ventures? A greater title? Honor? Take up arms, and help me expand my kingdom!
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Refer a friend with this link.
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✦QUICK HITS✦
✦Business & Tech✦
The Biden administration asked major tech firms to voluntarily commit to strengthening cybersecurity in their software and services as part of the Secure by Design initiative by CISA.
Ouch: Starbucks, Pizza Hut, and McDonald's reported declining sales, indicating a consumer spending pullback long anticipated by economists.
Exposed, kinda: The Rabbit’s R1 launched last week. People have been wondering why it isn’t just an app, and apparently… it is. Mishaal Rahman downloaded and tweaked its launcher APK on a Google Pixel 6A. Despite the company's claims of specialized cloud support and OS customizations, the functionality suggests it could operate similarly to a standard Android app. Despite this, Rabbit CEO Jesse Lyu insists the R1 is more than just an app.
AMD's Q1 earnings edged past expectations, boasting a 62 cents EPS and $5.47 billion in revenue, yet shares dipped 7% despite a solid Q2 outlook.
The National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) will block ChatGPT on all agency-issued devices starting May 6, 2024, citing security risks and potential data leaks. This directive aligns with broader government concerns about AI tools' data privacy and the generation of biased or misleading information.
Healthy boy: Pinterest shares surged 18% after Q1 results exceeded expectations with a 23% revenue increase to $740M, and global MAUs rose 12% to 518M, marking the fastest growth since 2021.
✦Fashion & Culture✦
Piss Chic: Jordanluca's controversial "Stain Stonewash" jeans, featuring a piss stain, debuted during Milan Fashion Week and have sold out. Yes, people are paying $610 for piss jeans. The brand, founded in 2018, has seen a 15% sales increase, reaching over $500,000 between 2022 and 2023. Piss sells.
It’s beef: TV producer Dan Schneider has filed a defamation lawsuit against the creators of the docuseries Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV, alleging manipulative editing to falsely imply he abused child actors. He seeks damages, denying involvement in any abuse while acknowledging past professional misconduct.
Riccardo Tisci (ex-Givenchy, ex-Burberry) is back with Nike for another boss ass collab. This time, they’re doing Nike Shox TLs which are set to release in Spring 2025.
Friends again: Since pulling their music from the platform, Universal Music Group has renewed a "multi-dimensional" deal with TikTok - reintroducing artists like Taylor Swift and Drake to over a billion users.
Rest easy, king: Toshikiyo Hirata, the founder of the renowned Japanese fashion brand Kapital, has passed away. His legacy in denim craftsmanship continues through his son Kiro, who has elevated the brand alongside photographer Eric Kvatek.
Airbnb has unveiled a real-life replica of the iconic floating house from Pixar's "Up," complete with balloons, as part of its new "Icons" category. The house, suspended by a crane over the New Mexico desert, offers a unique stay, combining cinematic magic with modern comforts.
✦Hmm… Interesting✦
Just like home: NASA’s Curiosity rover found unusually high manganese levels in Martian lakebed rocks, suggesting ancient water processes, which suggests an Earth-like environment on ancient Mars.
Read: Losing My Hands
Watch: Slam dunk contest but it gets increasingly more creative
Cool study: Cardio fitness is a strong, consistent predictor of morbidity and mortality.
For developers: An analysis of the rabbit R1 APK
ONE
BETWEEN
🤖 Want to be famous? AI can fix that too, apparently.
At a bustling bar, influencer ItsPoloKidd is broadcasting to a crowd of 20,000 live viewers on TikTok.
He shows the audience to a girl next to him. “Sexy, famous human,” she probably thinks. At the end of the video, they go home together.
It’s probably an ad, but it looks kinda real.
Anyway, ItsPoloKidd is using Parallel Live in the video. It’s an app that simulates a lively stream with thousands of AI-generated fans interacting in real-time. The AI-chat hears you and will answer accordingly.
Also, if you start paying for the app, you get the option of having donations popping up. You know, so you can look rich and shit.
With this, ItsPoloKidd claims you can become “the life of the party.”
Created by "social engineer" Ethan Keiser, these types of apps have rapidly gained traction, disturbingly popular among those looking to fabricate their importance.
The demand and supply of services like this make sense only in the culture obsessed with celebrity and validation. Ethical implications? What the hell is even that?
Here’s the full Instagram video.
THE DEPTHS
Old ads
Early Michelin Man looks like a terrifying space terrorist, check it out.
One day, Édouard Michelin saw a stack of tires at the 1898 Lyon Exhibition.
So what? The man made a living off tires. He saw them every day. Well, this time they had been arranged in a way that made them look like half a human.
"With arms, it would make a man." Edouard said to his brother. Just like that, a silly, whimsical thought birthed the Mickey Mouse of the automotive industry.
And so, with the help of the French artist O'Galop, they made this ad with a tire dude toasting:
The tire man declares: "Nunc est bibendum" ("Now is the time to drink") in Latin.
This wasn't just any drink. It was a toast to the downfall of Michelin's competitors, humorously depicted as crushed glasses and nails, the enemies of good tires.
And so, the Michelin Man AKA Bibendum was born. And perhaps a little bit more gangster than modern cartoon mascots.
Here he is with a cigar, leopard fur undies, and spikes in his foot:
By 1910, Bibendum was so popular that Michelin commissioned an outfit for actors to wear at events. At the time, it was a charming - "Haha, tire man!", you know.
Today, they look like dystopian space Taliban. Which is dope - just probably not the vibe they were going for.
If you thought Gordon Ramsay was horrifying. Imagine these guys coming to rate your restaurant.
You probably know this, but Bibendum ditched the beer and cigars. And he's slimmed down, looks kinda superhero-ish. His new look debuted in 1998 on his 100th birthday.
In retrospect, maybe space taliban Bibendum had more flavor.
